Save Olvera Street

Written, Reported, Shot & Produced by Gabrielle

Twilight is a Sick, Twisted Series

Published: October 11, 2010

Courtesy of Kimberly French/MCT

I thought it was cute when my 10-year-old cousin asked if I was Team Edward or Team Jacob. I thought it was disturbing when my 23-year-old classmate could describe how every Cullen became a vampire but couldn’t name the presidential candidates.

I dove into the Twilight series, expecting the books that bridge the gap between elementary students and adult women would be a literary masterpiece. I thought wrong.

But to Stephanie Meyer’s credit, her work, much like George Bush’s re-election, made me laugh and cry.

Meyer’s real talent is her ability to trigger my gag reflex more than my dentist’s giant hairy fists.

I’m going to get the main criticisms out of the way. The Twilight series doesn’t have a plot. Unless “I love you but I’m leaving so I don’t kill you…wait I’m back. I can’t be with you, good bye. Just kidding,” is a plot. The vampires sparkle, they don’t have fangs and the deepest thought the main character has goes along the lines of, “Edward is so hot. I love him.”

I also believe I read the word “chagrin” about 8,043 times. Someone should take Meyer’s thesaurus away from her.

The only thing Meyer doesn’t fail at is corrupting the youth. According to CbsNews.com, the series’ popularity caused a new biting trend among kids and teens. People are now biting each other like vampires to show their love and devotion for one another. One high-schooler explained the biting phenomenon as a way to “belong to somebody, and mark their territory.” To bite someone is to own them.

Let’s ignore the psychologically disturbing part of the trend and skip to the medical issues; doctors are concerned about the spread of bacteria and potential health risks caused by these skin breaking bites.

Way to go, Meyer.

While we’re on the topic of medical issues, I’d like to define some sexual perversions Meyer appears to be familiar with.

Pedophilia (n.): an abnormal interest in children; the act or fantasy on the part of an adult of engaging in sexual activity with a child or children, according to The Medical Dictionary.

According to Twilight, Edward was turned in to a vampire in 1918 at the age of 17, making him 100-something years old when he takes interest in 17-year-old Bella Swan. Luckily, they happen to live in the state of Washington where the age of consent is 16. Not Arizona (where Myer lives) or Utah (where she went to school), but Washington, where, according to SexLaws.org, Edward is not a pervert.

I’m going to go out on a limb and say that any 100-something year old having a relationship with a teenager is pedophilia.

Necrophilia (n.): sexual attraction, contact with or erotic desire for dead bodies, according to The Medical Dictionary.

For those of you who live under a rock, Edward Cullen is a vampire.

Vampire (n): the reanimated body of a dead person believed to come from the grave and suck people’s blood, according to Merriam-Webster.com.

Bella wants Edward.

“Bella, would you please stop trying to take your clothes off?” – Edward Cullen (Eclipse).

Zoophilia (n.): the fantasy or act of engaging in sexual activity with animals, according to The Medical Dictionary.

“Of course you’d warm up faster if you took your clothes off.” – Jacob Black, the Werewolf, to Bella, a pathetic excuse for a human being (Eclipse).

Jacob tricks Bella in to kissing him, and she says, “I didn’t feel any anger at Jacob for tricking me. There wasn’t enough room in my body to contain anything besides the hatred I felt toward myself.”

I relate to Bella in a way. I kind of hate myself for spending time writing this.

Sadomasochism (n.): a form of perversion marked by enjoyment of cruelty and/or humiliation in its received or active and/or dispensed and passive forms, according to WebMD.com.

Edward (the sadist) has Bella (the masochist) wondering, “What was so great about mortality?” (New Moon).

After Edward leaves her so he doesn’t eat her, she constantly puts herself in harm’s way to hear his voice in her head. She says, “Edward had drawn many careful lines for our physical relationship, with the intent being to keep me alive. Though I respected the need for maintaining a safe distance between my skin and his razor-sharp, venom-coated teeth, I tended to forget about trivial things like that when he was kissing me,” (New Moon p.16).

At least Edward tries to set some boundaries:

“You really should stay away from me,” he warns Bella. “See you in class.”

Meyer (sadist) writes the series and I (masochist) read it.

Stalk (v.): if you stalk a person or wild animal, you follow them quietly in order to kill them, catch them or observe them carefully, according to English Collins Dictionary.

“ ‘You spied on me?’ But somehow I couldn’t infuse my voice with the proper outrage. I was flattered.” – Bella (Twilight).

Edward admits to watching Bella sleep at night, but Meyer teaches her young, impressionable readers that being stalked gives a sense of self-worth. It’s not creepy if he’s hot.

Am I the only person bothered by the fact Bella is Edward’s food?

Let’s put this in a new perspective. Let’s say Edward is a vegetarian, much like my friend. So he doesn’t drink human blood and my friend doesn’t eat meat. Edward loves Bella romantically, my friend doesn’t want to bring a cow home to meet his mom. Are we getting the picture? Bella is his FOOD.

I love cheeseburgers but I don’t want to have sex with one.

Meyer invented a whole new sexual perversion: Foodphilia.

My problems with the series goes further than Bedward’s “relationship.” Or the fact they’re in “love.”

Everyone knows true love is between a girl who smells good and a guy who’s hot.

Apparently at Brigham Young University, where Meyer got her English B.A., they forgot to teach her how to write well. At least if she graduated from the Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can’t Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too, she would’ve learned that there’s more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking.

“I guess my brain will never work right. At least I’m pretty.” – Bella (Breaking Dawn). Initiate slow clap.

Maybe Edward can’t read Bella’s mind because she doesn’t have one.

“Many of the words they used were unfamiliar to me, and I figured I’d have to have a Y chromosome to really understand…” – Bella (New Moon)

The last person I want my little cousins influenced by is an obsessed, helpless, needy girl who can’t bear to live without a guy who’s no good for her.

At this point, I’m torn between team Tyler’s Van and team Shut the Hell Up.

In Favor of the "Ground Zero Mosque"

Published: August 30, 2010

Let me make two things clear: 1. The “ground zero mosque” is not just a mosque – it’s a community center open to non-Muslims with amenities ranging from fitness centers to museums. 2. It’s not on ground zero, it’s two blocks away and only 686 feet closer than an existing mosque.

According to the Associated Press, Muslims have been praying less than 80 feet away from the site of another 9/11 terrorist attack for years; inside the Pentagon, in a room made specifically for daily prayer during its massive renovation. What’s the difference?

Religious freedom is one of the core values our country was founded on. The fact that this is even an issue is embarrassing. If anything, we should be supporting this “mosque.”

Fareed Zakaria, editor of Newsweek International, explains that Sufi is a sect of Islam that is peaceful and loving. Not only is Sufi opposed to al-Qaida, but Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf, the man behind the project, is sponsored by the U.S. State Department to travel to Muslim countries and promote peace and cooperation between Americans and Muslims. Rauf has spent a majority of his life on a good will mission, swaying Muslims from supporting extremists, preaching tolerance and understanding.

Why are we getting in his way? Wouldn’t we rather allow Muslims to practice their religion in a tolerant environment rather than alienating them and pushing them in to the arms of extremist Islam?

According to the local ABC news, there are many families of 9/11 victims who support the building of this mosque.

We have to remember that among the thousands of Americans who lost their lives in the terrorist attacks on 9/11 were a number of Muslim Americans. Those who argue that the building of the “ground zero mosque” is disrespectful, breed ignorance and fear. With this logic, churches shouldn’t exist near the site of the Oklahoma City bombing out of respect for those who died since Timothy McVeigh was Catholic.

“The war against the terrorists is not a war against Islam. In fact, you can’t have an effective war against the terrorists if it is a war on Islam,” writes Maureen Dowd of The New York Times. If you are at war with Islam, you’re at war with over 1.5 billion people in the world. Islam is the second largest religion in the world after Christianity.

9/11 was an attack on America (including Muslim Americans) organized by individuals who were extremists (contrary to our propaganda and sensationalism, only a minuscule percentage of Muslims are extremists.) You can’t condemn an entire demographic for the acts of individuals.

Our resistance just shows our ignorance. The truth is, Muslims live in New York and will continue to practice their religion whether the cultural center is built or not.

Local Band Feature: Young the Giant

Published: August 23, 2010

Courtesy of Young the Giant

Cheers erupt amongst a swarming crowd inside a dimly-lit bar as five young men take the stage. The lead singer runs his hand through his dark hair and looks at the audience before breaking into a huge smile, pulling his bandmates into a huddle. They put their heads together while looking at their feet for a moment before separating, now ready to share their newest songs with their Orange County fans at Detroit Bar in Costa Mesa.

Walking to opposite sides of the stage, Jake Tilley and Eric Cannata of Young the Giant pick up their guitars while Francois Comtois sits behind his drum set. Placing the strap of his bass around his neck, Payam Doostzadeh stands by Sameer Gadhia, the face of the band, who picks up his tambourine from beside his tan loafers and wraps his hand around the microphone in front of him.

“It’s good to be home,” said Gadhia over the applause.

Young the Giant’s name is as unique as its sound, which has been described as a mix between Kings of Leon and Interpol. The Irvine natives have been together for three years, writing music described by Last.fm as “an assembly of international names and assorted backgrounds that combine to produce a refreshing brand of sun soaked Indie rock … it is a sound all their own.”

You may have seen Young the Giant on their recent national tour with Minus the Bear or opening for The Whigs, Ghostland Observatory, Steel Train and Kings of Leon. The band has also shared the stage with LMFAO and Shiny Toy Guns.

You may have even heard one of their singles, “Cough Syrup” on KROQ’s local favorites. Their song “Texas Tea,” a song about oil burning in the 1930’s, was on MTV’s “The Real World: Brooklyn.” “Paid the Piper,” a song about corruption within institutionalized religion, was played during A&E’s “The Beast.”
With their infectious energy and original melodies, it’s no surprise this band comprised of stylish men in their early 20’s showcased at South by Southwest and headlined a packed House of Blues in Anaheim.
Posters of the band cover the walls of Detroit Bar, where the bar’s trendy, laid-back atmosphere is complemented by Young the Giant’s music. Their natural charisma mesmerizes the audience who seems to sing along to every word.

As they began playing “Shake My Hand,” their old friend, Hannah Lee, 21, of Irvine, raised her arms in the air.

“This is my favorite song. It’s really inspiring that people my own age can write lyrics that are so deep. This is my favorite verse!” Lee said of the lyrics,“being alone really ‘aint that bad. I make the best of the hurt.”

Inspired by The Strokes, Coldplay and Radiohead, the band is described by fans in the audience as “fun,” “talented” and “hot.” The guys are just as fun-loving on stage as off . Their humble, carefree attitudes draw people to them.

Music comes naturally to the five friends, who each contribute to the writing process.

“A lot of it is based on improvisation,” said Comtois of their song writing. “We’re probably the only band I know who will write a song at 4 o’clock and play it at a show at eight.”

After graduating from high schools in Irvine and attending four-year universities all over California, including Stanford and UC Irvine, early last year they decided to take a leave of absence from school to focus on their band. Because they value their education, choosing to pursue their music careers was a difficult decision, but hard work is paying off for the young men who just a year ago, snagged a record deal with Roadrunner Records.

The band just finished recording their first full length album to be released later this year with Grammy Award winning producer Joe Chiccarelli (The White Stripes, The Raconteurs, The Shins, My Morning Jacket). Their newest single, “My Body” can be downloaded for free at YoungTheGiant.com. This month, they have residency to perform at The Troubadour in Los Angeles on Sundays and at The Casbah in San Diego on Mondays.

As their show nears its end, Gadhia sings passionately, closing his eyes and hitting the tambourine against his hips to the beat. Dancing with each other while laughing and smiling, one would think they feed off the audience’s energy, but the band’s chemistry is so overwhelming, the audience feeds off theirs.
As their last song ends and they leave the stage, the audience begins to chant.

“One more song! One more song!”

Without hesitation, the band picks up their instruments and begins their encore.

“For those of you who don’t know us,” Gadhia said with a grin, “We’re Young the Giant.”